Jim & Frank PodCast 18: Drama! Drama! Raw and Real! Gripping! Drama! Real! And!

Listen here!

The theme is on DRAMA... stark, stunning stagecraft, studded with startling, sparkling stars! All this and more, oh, so much more, is on tap with our new episode.
We're proud to indirectly present the first of Quail Hut's planned series of "internet audio movies."
(We're all too aware that they co-opted the program, once again, but we're trying to be generous. We hope it shows.)
Charles McCullough couldn't have chosen a more powerful play with which to inaugurate this sterling sonic sub-series. He contacted well-known playwright (and singer) Teñnessee Ernjye-Ffördë to pen a new original work for the digital sound-stage. He did not disappoint.
His "Approximately...Last AUGUST" is among the finest works of the millennial internet theater.
We do wish we'd gotten some advance word that this production was afoot. That said, we can't fault their choice of cast.
In the lead role is young starling PENROD McCULLOUGH, to whom you were thoroughly introduced in our prior podcast. Add to this RUTH BELSEN, The Great DI-JON and director-actor HERBERT FRIESE-DREI (who doubles as QuailCo's chief lawyer) and you've got... actors!

There are those who might notice a marked similarity between Mr. Ernjye-Fförd's audio-play and a certain dramatic work from the 1950s that was made into an all-star movie in 1959, itself peopled with famous actor-people...
Yes, there are some surprising coincidenci (plural of coincidences) in both plays' themes, characterizations, narrative events, and titles.
We did not want to foist a derivative work upon you, our audience of one. We contacted Mr. Ernjye-Ffördë at his remote chalet in Lagos and asked him THE question. He replaced the cigarette in his mother-of-pearl holder, added three more onions to his martini, found another cigarette holder, loaded it, lit both, and replied:

"There are no similarities. I wasn't even thinking of that old tired thing when I wrote my masterpiece. I was inspired by that song from the 1980s music group, the Travelodges, 'Approximately... Last August.' I was always struck by the dramatic potential in that title. The song itself is about a home re-tiling project that goes wrong, due to a pending divorce. Thus, it was wasted on the general public. I feel that a title has a responsibility to confront the public with the stunning, burning truth. So I rather borrowed it."

That was a long, bumpy trip to Lagos, and we were, frankly, a bit disappointed by having gone all that way for such a reply. But it is what it is, and so are we. And we are proud to present to you APPROXIMATELY... LAST AUGUST!

La Fete

La Fete (HD - 2010) from Malcolm Sutherland on Vimeo.

Magic

Presenting... Stan Lee's Most Pretentious Titles!

Ay! ...And here's the rubbeth!

How mayest thou know when thou hast truly found an utterance worthy of PRETENTIOUSTAN....?  Heed then this tell-tale sign... THOU SHALL KNOW IT WHEN THOU SEEITH IT! Be it merely an humble goofy comic book title such as:

"I Was Trapped by the Things on Easter Island!"

NAY! Noble though it may be, we speaketh not of these!

Here be a sign... Heareth thou this music as one readeth the master's words...?



...Then truly... SO IT BE!

Jim & Frank #17: RuthAMERICAN BUSINESS BONANZA!!!special sharings!

Click Here to Listen!

Just Click Here to subscribe to the Jim and Frank Audio Podcast on iTunes! If the link above doesn't automatically subscribe you, try this link.

This new episode is perhaps our most special. It abandons the typical wacky goings-on for a heartfelt, emotionally intense memory show. Ruth Belsen shares with us some astounding stories of her life.

It hasn't all been sunshine, lollipops and rainbows for Ruth. She has witnessed and experienced some of the hardest times, the lowest points life can take, and yet she has also seen sunrises of promise, rainbows of hope and the sunsets of regret. Ruth opens up today. We weren't anticipating this outpouring of raw, sheer emo-

QUAIL HUT's CHARLES "Big Mac" McCULLOUGH PROFILED ON THIS WEEK'S AMERICAN BUSINESS BONANZA!

He's a man on the move in the modern minefield of bedazzling business! Known worldwide as the dashing, innovative impresario of QUAIL HUT, America's favorite family-style restaurant, Creative "Veep" McCullough reveals his philosophies on life, love and commerce in this special edition of AMERICAN BUSINESS BONANZA!

A variety of voices from past and present reveal why "Big Mac" is the most admired--and feared--man in modern American business! But it isn't all work for Charles! When not tending to America's favorite fowl franchise, "Big Mac" has a tender relationship with his adopted son, Penrod. Charles doesn't play hardball with Penrod. He shows his paternal, caring side. We were fortunate to capture some of these delicate moments between father and son--to paint a well-rounded portrait of this titanic tycoon of today!

That's this week's SPECIAL EDITION of...

AMERICAN BUSINESS BONANZA!!!

moved beyond belief--just as we were on this very special day. These are memories you'll want to revisit time and again. We are blessed by the universe to have Ruth's life story. It's more than inspirational. It's a sort of hymn to life--all its ups and downs.

Take a moment to listen to this unique, never-to-be-repeated episode of our podcast. It just might change your life!

(We'll be back to the funny stuff again next week, folks... we hope you understand!)

Quail Hut Bonus: The New QH Kitteh Toy!

Our astute and devoted listener, Bill Humphries, spotted this new item in a Florida pet store.We weren't aware that the marketing arms and fingers of Quail Hut reached out into kitty toys. But they have!
Keep an eye out for this remarkable quail-stuffed "Li'l Yum Yum" [TM] figure. It ought to provide hours of fun for your cat... or even for you!
Just imagine placing this on the floor, loading it with the special roast quail concentrate pellets, forgetting about it, and then surprising yourself with it later!
Ah, the scampering, the careening, the mad abandon of the chase! As you knock over lamps, shelves, and other furniture, your mind is on the sole pursuit of this elusive, delectable game!
After your foray into mammalian chaos, you can conveniently blame the destruction on "that darned cat"--even if you don't have a feline in your home!
Everyone will believe you--honest! We believe you... see?
Thank you, Mr. Humphries, for bringing this gem to the attention of the world. It's a lulu!

Crouton Investigations

Click here to listen!

Dark streets! Drifting Fog! Footsteps in the night! You won't find any
of these stock film noir elements in this new edition of the PodCast.
Yet we traffic in the seamy underbelly of the American experience--the
world of the private investigator.

Frank's still on the lam--from what, we don't know. Jim found a clue
which leads him to a discussion with "Harve" Marsden, a most unusual
"peeper" who operates (and we mean, "operates!") from a sleepy town in
New York state.

Ol' "Harve" (short for Harvard!) proves a classic character. His
gravelly voice... his singular opinions on life, work and popular
culture... his keen memory... his keen mastery of delegation and his
willingness to share confidential information with you, the listening
public... this fella's a keeper!

Jim finds out the intimate details of the "gumshoe" racket in this
special one-on-one, hard-hitting, no-bars-held, mano-a-mano interview.

We also learn of a shocking imitation of our proud sponsor, Quail
Hut--the detestable Pheasant Pharm. The very idea! Shame, shame... We
do what we can to sway Marsden from his errant path to the divine and
right road! Let's make it a Quail Hut Life!

Jim & Frank PodCast 15--One For The Books!

Listen to this episode!

Frank's gone missing once again--big surprise! He's dropped the responsibility of a podcast in the lap of his partner-in-improv, Jim!
Jim comes through with an exclusive, on-site interview with Len Stoverson, reclusive "bookman." Surrounded by his dusty tomes and crusty cats, Mister Stoverson talks turkey about his literary friends (which include Madame Bovary and Farwell's Baseball Facts, 1951 edition).
Before this interview, we finally hear from another reclusive fellow--Charles McCullough, Creative "veep" of Quail Hut! He's emerged from hiding, and, via his appearance, we hear a dynamite new QH jingle from legendary Caucasian rhythm-and-blues septet the War-blers. They were once known for their toe-tappin', danceable anti-war ditties.
Now they're hawking "The Big Q" [TM]--but expect to hear more from this dynamic seven-man outfit PDQ!
(By the way, none of William H. Finnegan's books are currently in print. Fenneman's "hand-car" novels are somewhat easier to find--they're well worth a look!)

Just Click Here to subscribe to the Jim and Frank Audio Podcast on iTunes!

If the link above doesn't automatically subscribe you, try this link.

Barcelona 1908

Jim and Frank Now on iTunes!

Just Click Here to subscribe to the Jim and Frank Audio Podcast on iTunes!

If the link above doesn't automatically subscribe you, try this link.

It's Ruth Verite--in Jim & Frank PodCast 14

Click here to listen.
The concept was simple. We gave our adorable "swinging senior," Ruth Belsen, a Tascam DR 07 portable digital recorder. After hours of patient explanation, we felt she had a reasonably good idea how to work the darned thing. We sent her out into the world, to create an audio portrait of her daily life.
Unfortunately, most of what Ruth recorded wasn't usable. You see, despite our lengthy lessons in how to operate the DR 07. Ruth got the RECORD and PAUSE functions confused. Thus, she had the thing off when she wanted to record, and on when she thought herself finished.
Hours of a digital recorder, running inside a senior citizen's cluttered purse, does not entertainment make. We coached her once more, and she brought back one conversation, with her protege Pet Hodgson. While not exactly the "audio verite" we hoped to receive, this conversation does reveal more about Ruth's everyday life than we really knew--or understood.

Ruth displays the patience of Job in her visit with the volatile Pet. We're actually proud of the maturity and sheer patience Ruth accords this troublesome comrade. We still wonder what all the phone-ringing and door-pounding, captured on the recording, is all about.

Frank interviewed Ruth about this, in a special PodCast Extra [TM]!

FRANK; What was all that pounding about, Ruth?

RUTH: Lawd! I wish I knew. It always seems to be going on when I visit.

FRANK: Doesn't your friend ever answer the door?

RUTH: [chuckles] She has her reasons, Frank. She has her reasons...

[long silence]

RUTH: What did you say, hon?

FRANK: Huh?

RUTH: What did you say, darling?

FRANK: Oh... I didn't say anything. I was...

RUTH: Oh, Lawd.

As you can see, some questions are best left unanswered. Ah, sweet mysteries of life! How they do abound!

No Quail Hut jingles this week. We hope Charles McCullough will come out of hiding soon. We've finished that container of QH Coffee, and we'd surely like some more!

"Kevin! Kevin! Kevin!" Podcast Number 13

In these hard times, we've all felt the pinch. Keep your sunny side up, say Jim and Frank.

And that's exactly what they DON'T do in this bipolar special episode!
First, we feature a hidden audio jewel: out-takes from a circa 1975 commercial overdub session, featuring the non-redoubtable genius of American mass media...
GERSHON VERNE!!!
Verne, known for film classics such as Citizen Quail (1941) and The Terrific Thurmistons  ('42), plus the film noir gems The Dame From Shame-High ('48) and Touch of Hunger ('58), had fallen on hard times--much like us all today!--by the 1970s. Reduced to doing novelty children's recordings and TV-radio commercials, the understandably irate Verne never hesitated to show his bark and bite to trembling clients.

Here, we hear him, in high dudgeon, tackle with several choice Quail Hut jingles and commercial voice-tracks, in a freezing barn-slash-studio somewhere in Pennsylvania. We're betting you've never heard this notorious "audio verite" anywhere else, and we're pleased to present it to you!

Then, after a brief salute to THE JIM AND FRANK LOCAL BUSINESS OF THE WEEK--Renton, Washington's fabulous JUST PARROTS (364 Renton Center Way Southwest

Renton, WA 98057-2378; 425-277-4555). No kidding, folks, this must be one of the finest small businesses in existence! Please go to them immediately for your real (or imagined) parrot-related needs!

The vibe goes down, down, down as we further explore Renton and Skyway, Washington's dilapidated and abandoned business district. Man, it's depressing--no two ways about it! We'll post the pictures in a special update here, later today. Then you can see what we're going on about, as we confront the shriveled, encrusted husk of Modern America!

(Don't worry. There's a happy marching song at the end to set things right!)

All this--and less!--in a special double-length episode of the world-acclaimed PodCast!

Download the mp3 by right clicking (Mac users: control>click) on the following link: JimNFrankNum13

Your Official Picture Supplement to Jim & Frank PodCast 13

Here are the photographs Jim and I took during our exploration of the grim 'n' gruesome failed business district of Skyway, Washington...
First up: some views of what is, perhaps, the saddest failed grocery store in the Pacific Northwest, MY ELDORADO...

Depressing, bleak, hopeless...

Yep...

I have to face this thing on a daily basis. Was this really some poor deluded soul's El Dorado?

Following are a few more views of this unremitting heartbreaker....

Here's that abandoned, rusty gold Volkswagen Beetle we mentioned...

Now for a couple of shots of the soul-deadening casino we mentioned... it's very David Lynch-ish inside. Many millions of sucker-earned dollars have been taken from local yokels the hard way here:

A faded, once- fabulous 1950s BOWL sign takes some of the harsh edge off this depressing miasma of failure:

Whew--that's all you really need to get the picture.

Hey--for a heart-lifting chaser, here's an exclusive inside shot of Renton's fabulous JUST PARROTS!

Things seem happier already, huh? Who says there's no hope left in the world? Not us!

This photo-journalistic exercise has been brought to you by Quail Hut--featuring their "coo-coo-cooling" new confectionery treat: Quail Stikz!

Jim & Frank PodCast #12-- This One's For The Kids (And Their Huts!)

Like donuts and eggs, the Jim and Frank PodCast comes in dozens! This week's farm-fresh, cauterized episode caters to the kids!

Charles McCullough, like other American executives, has gone into deep hiding, in the wake of recent Wall Street shocks. Thanks to his faultless "QuailGram" system, he gets word to us.

His message: let's do one for America's tots and tykes! Good sports to the bitter end, that's just what we did!
Debuting on this week's J&FPC is the dynamic "Kid's Hut," a show by the young for the young! It's got kid interests at heart! Hear Frank tell a true-life story of his childhood mischief. He also displays a hint of latent sociopathy, as he cackles warmly at his youthful misdeeds. At least no one got hurt--it was really all in fun, honest!

For the adults, there's a special introduction by America's own Leonard Maltin, some talk about the early history of the Quail Hut franchise, a mention of the remarkable panelologist, Mason Moray (visit his astounding blog at http://panelologicalpantheon.blogspot.com/ - well worth your time!), and the usual back-and-forth frothy banter that's made the Jim & Frank PodCast the toast of seven nations (including Belgium)!

You know by now that it's futile to resist! Drop what you're doing and give us a listen!

PS: Don't forget to sign up for our newsletter--and get a genuine retro Quail Hut menu sent to you free of charge! Look below for the easy, painless instructions. C'mon, America--let's make it a Quail Hut life! [TM]

Hey Look! Opportunity! Fun!